There is not much about this church that I could recall now. This is my first serves as a pastor wife. Struggling to adjust my daily schedule from being have-all-time-for-myself to share-it-with-church-member for home visits, on the same time I had to work on my new home, a new life as married person and a pregnancy.
But, I found out that this church was not a best church to do so. Sorry for being to straight-forward…I just want to be honest with the situation. I was not happy there. But, it gave me a precious lesson learned.
The church-member here objected to my intense gesture to my husband. They call me impolite. I still not understand why hold my own husband hands, caress his shoulder or smile to him could be impolite in any chance. We don’t kiss on public. But then I realized that many of the church member are a traditional north-sumateran (batak) people. They just don’t show love in public!
As I move to another churches I knew that this objection is particular. Other people are just okey with the behavior, and eventually some leaders encouraged it. Husband and wife need to maintain their love. What important here is, every people has their different view on the subject. If you just don’t into it, doesn’t mean it is wrong. Dont judge people just by our own understanding.
I remember in this church there was many many times a unneccessary fight happened. Once, a church member stop came to church because she felt so hurt by others talk. Another time, another church member resigned from church committee of kind hurt-feelings matter. In matter of fact, by my neutral judgement, none of them, the one being offended or the one blamed were right. Once a church member stop visit the church because he felt hurt by my husband’s preach. In matter of fact, he actually has nothing to complaint on preaching. Pastor does not preach to hurt people, pastor preachs what written in the scriptures.
I was responsible for potluck for about a year. Potluck is not a favorite matter in this church. Not because people don’t like to eat together, but, because many times they objected to bring something, felt that their burden were bigger than others. That is simply not true. I found out these people other that being judgemental, they also not generous. I was offended when one time they blamed things one me, and just boycott the potluck, makes me wake up at 4 in the morning, because I had to cook everything items in the menu for every church member. They ate it happily, which surprising me then, but made clear to me that their problems is generosity. While they had no problem on eat, they had problem on washing dishes. None voluntarily did it. When I turned to did it myself, none care to help.
So, I was relieved when it is time to move. I had too much headache. They didn’t like me and my husband, and keep a long line of complaints filed to the organization. No matter how big my efforts, they just not happy with it. In the beginning I think that something wrong with me, and I need to change. But later and now, I know, that was nothing so wrong with me, it was the church itself that needs a revival.
Hope they change by now. I changed.