You know what, by years of service I realise something.
My concerns are swiftly changed, from activities to people.
Back on my previous years, I always chosen as part of the Church Committee. Serve as the chair or this or that department. My mind is working harder than a clock to think what the best activities to make so the goals of having everyone involved, having the need served, having the children learned, having the youth growth is achieved. While other church members usually sit down and talk after the sermon, I would go up or inside or wherever the activities is conducted. To arrange, manage, teach, make things happen and the energy rolled. I don’t give myself time to chat, to share news and gossips or else may happen during that idle time.
But after 18 years, I started to think to myself. I don’t really have a friend from the church members. First, because we keep on moving on after two or three years. Second, because maybe I don’t really open up. I have the habit to keep distance from everyone. They can come to chat, to talk, to pour their heart. But only them. I never did so. If I need to chat, talk or pour my heart I went to my husband or the heavenly God Himself. If I talked to my close friend none of them share similar experience. I don’t really talk to other pastor’s wife as the nature of relationship is also odd.
So why I start to concern about people? Because I care about me. What if, among these people to appear to be happy and contented, they actually bore a big burden. Like me? And they have nobody to pour their heart to. Like me?